


A Love So Hidden

by pherryt



Series: Star Trek Bingo [8]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek AOS
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Hidden Relationship, Hurt!McCoy, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Angst, M/M, Not In Front of the Klingons, Secret Relationship, Shuttlecraft Accident, no actual klingons in this fic, worried!Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: It had been Jim’s idea, and God help him, but Leonard had no good reason to object and every reason to go along with it.Didn’t mean he had to like it though.





	A Love So Hidden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unforth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/gifts).



> For the McKirk "Secret Relationship/Not in front of the Klingons" Bingo Square, as randomly chosen by Unforth
> 
> desperately wanted to make art for this story before posting it and it took me over 12 hours to make this. Part of me thinks Jim and Bones look a lot like my versions of Dean and Cas but they ARE similar types of characters (GOD i love the Bones/Cas characters - they are my favorites for both series) and i really love how it came out.
> 
> I livestreamed the majority of it - thanks go to a LOT Of folks who came by and kept me company while i did.  
> The title banner is a cropped in version of the full pic which is placed later in the story...

It had been Jim’s idea, and God help him, but Leonard had no good reason to object and every reason to go along with it.

Didn’t mean he had to like it though.

Jim, of course, treated the whole thing like a game, an exercise of wits.

No, that was unfair. Leonard knew Jim chafed at the restriction too, his idea or not, and that treating it like a game was one of the only things that made it bearable to him. If only Leonard had something like that to help him through it.

Dammit, Leonard just wished they could be open about  _them._ He wanted to shower Jim with the affection the kid had never gotten, that he deserved. Leonard wanted to spoil him, wanted to give in to his impulses to catch Jim’s hand with his own or to give him a kiss in the turbo lift when they parted at the start of their shift.

But he couldn’t.

Jim was – and rightfully so – worried that any undo attachments could garner the attention of his enemies and – as a ship’s captain (and the youngest, most controversial one yet!) – he had already made more than his share, despite his charming ways (or maybe because of them, in some cases).

Leonard knew that Jim wasn’t afraid of much – and he certainly did not believe in no win scenarios (the Academy incident was enough evidence of that) - but late one night, with Leonard in his arms, Jim had confided in him, admitting his fears to Leonard.

How scared Jim was to lose him and that his enemies could target Jim through Leonard.

_“I don’t know how this happened, Bones. God knows I never wanted something like this and if I had known what was happening between us, I would have fought so hard…” Jim’s breath hitched, his hands tightening their embrace around Leonards’ waist, his nose buried in Leonards’ hair as he continued, choking out the words, “God, if I lose you… I **can’t** lose you, Leonard. I’m in too deep. You’re  **everything**  to me. I’m afraid it would… It would compromise me at best, destroy me at worst.”_

_Leonard reached for the hands clasped around his middle and held on, squeezing in what he meant as reassuring but didn’t think was working. His own throat worked as his memories of Jim lying lifeless on his table surfaced. **He** didn’t have to imagine it. After almost losing Jim with the Khan incident – and they hadn’t even been together then – Leonard knew it would destroy him too, if anything happened to Jim._

Sighing, Leonard tapped around on his data pad, leaving last minute instructions for his staff. He hated dwelling on this, on how ungrateful it made him. He knew damn well that Jim would never be able to forgive himself if something did happen to Leonard – especially if it was for as simple a reason as being with Jim.

So when Jim begged Leonard to hide their relationship and to pretend that nothing had changed between them, Leonard had reluctantly agreed. Regardless of what certain people thought, Leonard _did_ give in to logic now and again.

Of course, it rankled greatly watching as Jim continued to flirt with anything on 2 legs – or more. He wasn’t picky  _and_ he had a reputation to uphold if they were to put on the farce that nothing had changed.

But  _goddamn_  it hurt to watch, even if Leonard knew that at the end of the day, Jim would be in  _his_ quarters, not theirs.

Jim was right.

If Leonard had known he was falling for his best friend, he’d have fought it as hard as he damn well could. This was torture. Fearing for Jim’s life with every mission, unable to take his comfort and even  _give_ Jim comfort when it was needed – always having to wait for privacy to do _anything_ , no matter how small...

And if Leonard was a little extra snarky to Jim in public sometimes, well, he was naturally sarcastic, he didn’t think anybody would notice the difference.

At least, he hoped so. Nobody seemed to be looking at them any differently than normal, though Uhura usually had a rather disapproving, even scandalized look on her face whenever she caught Jim flirting. Leonard thought that if _anyone_ knew him and Jim were putting up a farce, it had to be her.

Then again, maybe she just thought they were idiots who hadn’t realized what they meant to each other yet. In which case, that was nearly as dangerous as being known as actively being in a relationship.

Leonard leaned back in his chair and pinched his nose.

Dwelling on the can’ts and why nots wasn’t doing him any good and was, as a matter of fact, depressing him further.

A knock on his open door had him looking up at his head nurse – Christine. She stood here looking at him sympathetically.

“Time for your vacation, Dr. McCoy. You’re shuttle’s waiting. I hope you’re feeling better when you get back,” she said.

“Not likely,” he sighed. “But if I’m to set a good example for the rest of the workaholics on this tin can, guess I better get my ass moving.”

Leonard stood, stashing away his data pad and picking up the pre-packed bag. He shouldered it and stepped out the door, Christine moving out of the way for him.

“Think you might want to get out of your uniform first?” she said with amusement, her eyes sparkling.

“Well now, I know I’m single – “ _no I’m not!_ “-but I’m afraid I’m just not interested,” he drawled, walking to the other end of sickbay. The doors swooshed open and he stepped through.

Christine, who’d followed along, rolled her eyes. “Right. Say hello to the captain for me,” she said, just as the door closed behind him.

He blinked at it, as if it held answers for what had just happened. What _had_ just happened? No, he wasn’t an idiot. He knew damn well what she meant. Maybe. Christine either knew they were together, or thought he was pining after his damn fool captain. Either way, a bad sign that Leonard or Jim (or both) weren’t half as good at covering their tracks as they thought.

His only consolation was that it was likely only those who were closest to them that knew. And at least he knew _they_ would be discrete.

Besides, it wasn’t like they were going on this trip together _alone_. Heaven forbid! No, everyone was taking turns going on shore leave, and it happened to be the senior officers turn. That’s all it was. No ulterior motives. Everything was perfectly normal.

Leonard got down to the shuttlebay – Jim had tried to convince him to use the transporter but Leonard avoided the transporter as often as he could unless it was an emergency, which this most definitely _wasn’t_ – only to be startled when Jim (already out of uniform) was leaning against the hull. The man was all tightly held grace as he waited, idly chewing on an apple – they were never too far from Jim Kirk’s hands – and Leonard couldn’t stop the long gaze sweeping down and then back up, only to meet with a raised brow and a knowing smirk.

“Took you long enough to get here. Everyone else is inside already,” Jim said, finishing off his apple and tossing it in the nearest receptacle for reclamation.

“What? Jim, is that _wise?”_ Leonard hissed as he reached Jim.

“Of course it is. Can’t go by ourselves, it would raise suspicion, and I’m not letting you take the long way around all by your lonesome,” Jim whispered. “Now, come on and get your grumpy butt in there.”

“I’ll show you grumpy,” Leonard muttered, climbing into the shuttle.

“I’d rather see your a– “

Leonard whipped around and glared and Jim snapped his mouth shut, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“You’re not allowed to talk anymore,” Leonard gritted out, leveling a finger at him and his most serious glare.

It didn’t phase Jim at all, because of course it didn’t. Dammit, if Jim was going to insist on a secret relationship for the sake of the lives that could be put on the line, shouldn’t he be doing more to actually _keep_ the goddamn secret?

Leonard just barely refrained from stomping his way onto the shuttle, picking a seat and dropping into it dramatically.

Maybe a little dramatically since Sulu was eyeing him warily.

“What? So y’all decided to take the scenic route to keep me company?” Leonard managed by way of a greeting.

“I know you mean that sarcastically, but it really is a beautiful planet,” Nyota said, smiling as serenely as she usually did. “Also, I think Spock will be running some scans as we approach.”

“Of course he is,” Leonard muttered. “This is a vacation, Spock. What does it take to get you to relax?”

There was a cough beside him and a couple of muffled snorts from various sources. Nyota turned to glare at Chekov, Scotty and Jim while Spock merely raised an eyebrow.

“Oh lord, I’m _surrounded_ by infants,” Leonard said, rolling his eyes.

“Indeed,” Spock intoned flatly. “It is a rather interesting phenomenon that many human adults have a tendency to display childlike behavior in the most inappropriate moments.”

The shuttle door finished hissing shut and sealing, the lights on Sulu’s console turning green. “We are good to go. Bay doors are opening and we’ve got the all clear …” Sulu paused. “Now.”

“Then let’s get this party started,” Jim said, leaning back in his seat. “Take her out, Mister Sulu.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Sulu replied, his fingers deftly flying over the controls. The shuttle rose with the minutest of shudders, but Leonard still gripped his seat with white knuckled hands before forcing himself to let go and relax.

He could do this. he was just exchanging one tin can for a slightly smaller one and Sulu was a damn fine pilot. This was, at any rate, much preferable to getting his atoms scrambled and Nyota was right.

The view was beautiful.

***+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+***

Leonard wasn’t thinking those words an hour later. In fact, he wasn’t thinking much of anything as pain seared through him.

“Bones? Oh god, Len,” Jim’s voice hovered frantically. “It’s gonna be okay. You’ll be all right.”

Jim’s voice was scared and that, more than anything, scared Leonard in turn. It must be bad to have Jim react like that. He struggled to take a breath, to move his arm to reassure Jim but he only cried out when the effort caused sharp, stabbing pains along his sides and chest.

“Don’t move!” Jim choked out. “Lieutenant - !”

“Right here, captain. No need to yell.” Nyota’s soothing, calmer tone helped ease Leonard.

“Wha – ha’p’nd?” he gasped as the familiar sound of his medical tricorder sprang up, echoing in the shuttle.

“Spocks working on it. Scotty and Chekov are helping,” Jim said.

“An’one… else… ‘urt?” Leonard pushed the words out but it was hard, a struggle to focus past the pain, past the fuzziness in his head. He had a job to do, people to take care of. His _friends_. He couldn’t just lay here -

“Don’t move, Bones,” Jim said quickly, laying a hand over Leonard’s shoulder gently. Leonard winced and hissed and Jim pulled back sharply, a look of guilt playing over his face before he schooled it.

So much for relaxing. This was _anything_ but relaxing. The complete and utter opposite. Dammit. The bridge crew... Jim especially, had _needed_ this after the past few weeks. Jim’s poker face was good, but Leonard was intimately familiar with reading one James T Kirk, even before they'd gotten together.

Jim was worried... On the verge of panic, even. Leonard knew part of that was because there wasn't anything useful Jim could do in this situation other than keeping tabs on everyone and keep up their morale but part of that was Leonard himself.

 And Leonard must look as bad as he felt for the level of worry pouring off of Jim.

Did nobody else see it?

“Sulu broke his arm. The rest of us have some bumps and bruises. Maybe a scratch or two. You’re the only one with serious injuries,” Nyota said crisply.

“I knew you wanted some attention, doc, but don’t you think this is going a little too far?” Jim’s voice had evened out mostly, though it was still filled with worry. Despite that, Jim attempting a joke could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Good, meaning things weren’t nearly as bad as they looked, or felt, dear _god_. Bad meaning… they really were and Jim was trying to distract Leonard from it. Right now, there was no way to tell which was which, but Leonard didn’t feel all that great.

Still, if all he could do while laying on his back was to play along, then he would.

“O-only way… I ev’r… ge’ any res-s’,” Leonard tried to joke back. Damn. Talking wasn’t getting any easier. He strained his ears to listen to the tricorder, to hear the conversations that must be happening around him just to get a clue of what was going on. Why didn’t they tell him? They must have _some_ idea. “’ave ‘e… cr-cra-shhh’d?”

“No!” Jim said firmly.

The silence around them made Leonard suspicious.

He tried to shift to _see_ Jim better and bit his lip to keep from crying out and scaring Jim further. He finally got eyes more firmly on Jim and Nyota and what he saw there didn’t fill him with confidence.

Both of them looked like hell amidst the smoke curling about the shuttle, both of them covered in more than bumps and bruises. Jim had a long gash along his arm and a few scratches on his face. His pants were torn in several places as well.

Nyota, at least, looked better, though her hair had come partially undone and there was a slash along her left shoulder, the arm of which was cradled carefully against her body, and another on her left cheek. And despite her cool tone, her hands were shaking as she ran the tricorder over Leonard’s body, her eyes scrunched as she tried to translate the medical jargon it was throwing at her.

Beyond her, Sulu was propped against the hull, pointing with his good arm at various readouts while Chekov was splinting the broken one. Spock and Scotty were hunched over the console but their voices were too low for Leonard to even pretend to make an effort to hear.

“Are ‘e goin’ to?” Leonard managed.

Jim and Nyota exchanged looks before turning back to Leonard.

Sighing, Jim ran a hand through his hair, wincing briefly and pulling his hand away again. “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know.”

“En’erpr-isse?”

“Comm systems are down, so,” Nyota said slowly, not finishing the sentence.

Leonard blinked at her. “Sh-ould-en tha’ be f-firs’ prio’ry?” Instead of wasting her time with him, she should have snagged one of the others – Chekov, probably, the kid was _brilliant_ – and enlisted him to assist her in fixing the communications unit. Whatever was going on, especially if there were injuries, the transporter would be their best bet right now. So why weren’t they?

She winced and looked at Jim with a tight-lipped expression before turning back to the tricorder.

“Okay, Len, it would but… when the shuttle did…” he waved his hand vaguely “Whatever they’re still trying to figure out, you went flying. And you landed rather hard, and bad. Very bad. And um, you took out the comm systems. You’re lying on them. And… they’re… kinda lying on you.”

“Oh,” Leonard said. That explained why it was so hard to breath and to speak.

Nyota sighed, snapping his tricorder shut. “Okay, if I’m reading this right, you have multiple broken ribs, a broken wrist, a hairline fracture in your collarbone, a possible concussion, and maybe even some internal bleeding. That last bit I’m not entirely sure about. And that’s not counting any of the external cuts and bruises.”

“Well…’ell,” Leonard breathed weakly.

“Just, don’t talk,” Jim pleaded. “And don’t move.” He reached out, but pulled back, obviously afraid to touch Leonard again. “We don’t want this to get worse.”

“Ya… gotta… move me… Ji’,” Leonard forced out.

“No, no way!” Jim bit out. “Didn’t you just hear what I said?”

“Ya… ha’ to,” Leonard insisted. “F-fix… coms.”

“No, we have to treat you first,” Jim insisted. “We can hold off a few moments while Spock and Scotty work a miracle, like they always do. I’m not sure we should move you at all. Or the equipment pinning you down. We already tried – the sounds you made when we did – “ Jim’s voice choked off.

“Jim,” Leonard said flatly. “Let. Them. Do. Their. Work.” Each careful word was laborious and it cost him, Leonard closing his eyes tight against the pain.

“Okay, okay,” Jim said softy after a long moment of silence where Leonard drifted, only the pain keeping him from checking out completely. Louder, “Spock, help me.”

“Of course, Captain,” Spock called from the front of the shuttle. Within moments, things were moving, things that had trapped Leonard to the deck, each shift causing more pain to rocket through him. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists – one fist, the other hand didn’t want to move very well, leaving it in a very loose fist.

Someone gasped as the equipment was lifted from him and fresh pain bloomed. Almost instantly, arms came around him to drag him away from the rest of the comm unit rather than lift, and then he was being laid gently down on the deck.

Spock returned to the shuttle controls with Scotty, while Nyota, Sulu and Chekov turned to the wreckage of the communications equipment, leaving Jim alone with Leonard who was frantically moving about above him, searching for a medkit, cursing the whole while.

If Leonard wasn’t feeling like shit, he’d rag on Jim for apparently forgetting all his emergency first aid field training.

Eventually, though, Jim found the kit and turned back to Leonard, panic and determination in his eyes.

“First things first,” Leonard said quietly. Speaking was easier now that he didn’t have anything weighing him down, but it wasn’t painless. Each breath caused stabbing pains in his chest and he tried to breath shallowly and talk slowly. “If I’m bleeding anywhere, you gotta stop that. Use the dermal regenerator – yes that one – use the lowest setting for the shallow cuts and the highest setting on everything else.” It’d be overkill and take a little longer but it would be better in the long run.

“Right, got it. I knew that,” Jim said.

With Leonard quietly guiding Jim through it, Jim worked efficiently and quickly, his training coming back once he’d calmed. After the bleeding was stopped, he dug out the bandages, wrapping them around both Leonard’s ribs and his wrist, pressing the seal into place. They stiffened in place, much like a cast in the case of his wrist, holding him immobile to reduce the damage he did to himself should he try to do something as ill-advised as moving again. He grunted when they tightened around him and then worried about his collarbone. If it truly was damaged in anyway, the medkit wasn’t prepared for that sort of eventuality.

Leonard really needed to get to sickbay and into a bio bed but who knew when that would happen.

Lastly, Jim dug out the hyposprays, looking for the one already set with the most common and effective painkiller and then administered it before turning to do the same for Sulu.

“Shoulda done that first,” he muttered. “Sorry.”

Sulu grunted out his thanks, turning back to help Uhura and Chekov in his limited, one arm capacity, pointing at things and offering advice.

Suddenly tired, Leonards’ eyes flickered closed and he struggled to drag them open again, his chest feeling funny when he did.

“Jim,” he called, then choked, coughing a bit.

“Yeah, Bones?” Jim said, leaning close and grabbing his uninjured hand in both of his.

“Don’t let me fall asleep. If I have a concussion…”

“You’ll be fine, Leonard,” Jim said. “We’ve got the best crew in the galaxy right here with us. We’ll get out of here, get you to sickbay and all patched up in no time at all.”

Jim leaned down, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to Leonard’s lips before resting his head ever so lightly against Leonards’ for just a second before pulling away, his thumb rubbing softly against the skin of Leonards’ hand. The touch was soothing, reassuring, despite the growing pressure in his chest, the ever-rising fear of their situation -

Jim’s lips had come away red.

Internal bleeding pretty much confirmed. Leonard probably had a matter of hours in these conditions before things were irreversible.

Not that he was going to tell Jim that. Jim was already a wreck, barely holding it together. The fact that he’d kissed Leonard, no matter that it was quick and chaste, right there with the rest of the crew crammed in beside them…

If Jim had forgotten his own rule in his worry for Leonard, then it was up to Leonard to protect Jim from himself.

For as long as he could.

***+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+***

Despite Jim’s best efforts, and Leonards’, he faded in and out over the next little while.

The sounds around him, the murmurs of people working and talking were heard but not registered. Occasionally, one of the others would check on him. Sometimes he heard the worry in their voices, but the words were lost to a roaring in his ears.

The shuttle seemed to close in on him, and he closed his eyes against it, to pretend he was anywhere but there, only Jim’s hand on his grounding him, kept him from a full-on panic attack.

With his injuries, it would be devastating.

Coughing racked through him again and again, and Leonard lost consciousness after every bout, the worry in Jim’s eyes getting deeper and deeper.

Leonard didn’t think Jim had left his side once and he was guiltily and greedily glad of it.

If he were to die here, at least he wasn’t alone. At least he had Jim.

He hoped Jim could go on without him. Leonard feared he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t even grab anyone’s attention to get them to promise to watch Jim when he was gone.

Spock. He should ask Spock to do it. Spock and Nyota were a team and each of them were at least as stubborn as Jim. They’d be ideal. But when he tried to turn his head toward Spock, when he tried to call out to him, the coughing started once more and everything went black again.

***+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+***

The next time Leonard opened his eyes, Jim was crouching over him in tears, desperately calling his name, his hands cupping his face.

He didn’t even remember closing them.

Coughing, he tried to sit up and remembered that he couldn’t when his limbs barely twitched with his effort. “J-jim?”

“Oh, oh thank god,” Jim sobbed, his eyes glued to Leonard’s face. “I thought I lost you. You gotta hang in there, Len. We’re almost home. Uhura’s hailing the Enterprise right now. We’re gonna make it. You can’t die on me.”

“Captain, 5 seconds to beam up,” Uhura called out. The rest of the shuttle was quiet, Leonard realized, all eyes turned to stare at him and Jim. He flushed and opened his mouth to caution Jim but the high-pitched chime of the transporter drowned out any attempts at words.

Within seconds, milliseconds maybe, Leonard was on a biobed, having been beamed directly to Sickbay, the rest of their crew, their friends, beamed with them.

Dr. M’Benga and Nurse Chapel were running towards him and a hypospray hit his neck and his world went black once more.

***+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+***

It was quiet, the familiar hums and beeps of Sickbay barely intruding on his consciousness as his eyes slowly blinked open. He was no longer in pain, and the pressure in his chest was gone, but when he went to move his arms to push himself up, Leonard found that one arm wouldn’t move.

He turned his head to the side, to find Jim clutching his good arm, forehead pillowed on Leonards’ bicep, mouth open and drooling. He hadn’t even changed, though someone, at least, had taken care of his cuts and bruises and his skin had been wiped clean.

Testing the range of his other hand, Leonard carefully reached across his own body, only a slight tightness attesting to the injuries he’d sustained (and he was sure was otherwise being masked by the pain medication). He ran his fingers through Jim’s already tousled hair, dirty and in much need of a sonic shower.

“Jim,” he said softly.

“Mmrmph,” Jim moaned.

“Jim,” Leonard said a little more firmly. “Jim, go to bed.”

“No,” Jim said, his words muffled against Leonard’s arm. “Not leaving you.”

“Jim, you’ve got to. Go back to your quarters, take a shower and get some rest,” Leonard insisted. “I’m in good hands now, and your behavior is only going to start the very rumors you wished to avoid.”

“Fuck that!” Jim said vehemently, finally raising his head. “You scared me, Bones, and I’m not leaving your side.”

“But – your enemies – “ Leonard protested though his heart was starting to feel hopeful.

“Never mind them. I’ve had it shoved in my face today that you could just as easily die on a routine errand or something equally stupid and ill-timed and I’m not going to be kept from your side for appearances. It doesn’t matter _how_ I lose you, losing you will destroy me anyway. And if I can’t be with you in your last moments, if I can’t at least comfort you, _be there for you_ , when the time comes, I…” Jim choked.

“Jim, it’s okay. Darlin’, I’m right here,” Leonard said softly, reaching for Jim again.

“It almost wasn’t, Leonard. I came _so close_ to losing you today. I can’t go back to hiding this, to hiding _us,”_ Jim whispered against his neck as Leonard pulled him close, threading his fingers into the spikes of Jim’s hair.

“Okay, sweetheart, we won’t hide anymore,” Leonard agreed gently, thrilling at the idea of being able to openly show his affection for Jim. To no longer have to watch Jim flirt with all and sundry or to endure the pitying looks from Nyota. To be able to do _this_ for once, to hold Jim’s hand, to lean into him or kiss him whenever he wanted from now on.

 A decidedly unladylike snort came from behind Jim and they both twisted to glare at Nurse Chapel who was loading a hypospray.

“What?” Jim demanded.

“Oh, nothing, captain,” Christine said, smirking. “But for the record, we already knew you two were a thing. Since you seemed so intent on hiding it – and doing a fantastically horrible job, at that – we kept our mouths shut, for your sake’s, whatever your reason.”

She pressed the hypospray to Leonards’ neck without warning, just as the pain started to make itself known once more. “I, for one, am glad that we can stop the charade. I don’t know how many times I had to pretend not to see you kissing in Dr. McCoy’s office.”

With those final words, she walked away, leaving Leonard flushing hard and burying his face in his free hand while Jim stared after her, stunned.

“Well,” Jim said, turning back to Leonard. “She doesn’t sound too traumatized, at least.” He waggled his eyebrows at Leonard. “How about a real kiss, one we don’t have to hide?”

Slowly, Leonard dropped his hand from his face and searched Jim’s eyes. They were filled with mirth, yes, but the mirth was a mask for his love, hope and the still lingering traces of his fear for Leonard, and Leonard couldn’t deny him the kiss.

Not when he ached to kiss Jim too, without worry of where they were and who might see them. His eyes widened as he realized he could finally give in to the impulse and before Jim could keep talking – no doubt to try and sweettalk him into it (not necessary) – Leonard pulled him back down.

Their lips met in a gentle swell, Leonard and Jim kissing softly, mindful of Leonards’ condition, each pressing their love into the other with every slow kiss, deepening into leisurely explorations that left Leonard more breathless than he should have been but unwilling to pull away.

He got to have this, _Jim,_ finally and for all to see. And he wanted to lay his claim so thoroughly that no one ever doubted that Jim and Leonard belonged together.

Jim was his, and he was Jim’s.

From the way Jim kissed him in return, the feeling was mutual.

  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable Tumblr Post [here](https://pherryt.tumblr.com/post/181782386476/a-love-so-hidden-star-trek-mckirk-angst-rating)


End file.
